Its the final day of the festival and Im happy for the experience but also elated that its over. It was fucking rough working, watching 25 movies and dealing with allergies. This day I rewatched Merantau and The Reventant. Also watched a pretty interesting quirky action drama called The Dirty Mind.
Merantau
Easily the biggest surprise of the festival and tied with my favorite movie of the festival along with Rec 2. Must see for any action or martial arts fans.
Dirty Mind
This movie style is pretty hard to describe. Its like a quirky drama with action and comedy elements in it. The movie is about this dude thats injured doing a movie stunt and it changes his personality. He transforms from a shy nice guy into a rambuncious, funny, ego maniac thats awesome at performing movie stunts. He has some brain damage and the doctors want to do an exeperimental surgery that will return him to normal and also help others that have this condition that are far worse off then him. He relishes his new self and doesnt want to do the experiment and his doctor thats treating him for his condition falls for him. He eventually ruins his relationship with his brother that started the whole stunt crew and his parents. The movie also had a pretty predictable ending but If you are into foreign dramas then I definitely recommend it. Final Rating: 7/10
The Revenant
Finshed the festival by watching one of the better movies again. I think it has some mass appeal if marketed right. Solid horror comedy. That was the end of the festival for me. I tried to get into Daybreakers but didnt make the standby cut. Glad this is over but already pumped for next year.
Fantastic Fest Day 7 I fell asleep during first movie K-20. Saw the wrong movie when I picked The Bare Breasted Countess over Private Eye. Rewatched the awesome Doghouse and ended the night with the fucked up The Human Centipede.
K-20: The Fiend with 20 Faces
I fell asleep about 20 minutes in so I won't give it a score rating. From what I saw thought it was a kiddy action adventure movie that I didnt dig at all. Unfortunately I woke up for the last 30 minutes and saw the predictable ending. Nothing left to say. It was well done but cheesy.
The Bare Breasted Countess
I picked this movie instead of watching Private Eye which was picked by several people as the best movie of the festival. I only picked this because Jess Franco was there in attendance and the movie is not available on dvd. To be honest the movie basically is a soft core porn movie. There is very little dialogue and a paper thin plot. There was more bush in this movie than at George W's family reuninon. The main vampire chick Lina Romay (and now Jess Franco's wife) was fucking smoking hot in the movie. This was not a movie to be watching in a packed theater but better suited for the privacy of your own home with towel in reach. It was very artsy and well filmed but not really much more to it. Movie is about this vampire chick that seduces men and women, goes down on them and then eventually sucks the blood out of them while giving them oral. Thats all there is to it. While not really a great movie Im still glad I saw it and it was cool to see the Q and A session given by Frank and Lina at the end. She had a lot of classic funny lines. Final Rating: 5.5/10
Doghouse
Rewatched this movie and loved it even more the second time. Awesome horror comedy.
The Human Centipede
Holy shit what a fucked up movie. I had pretty high expectations for it since it won the award there for the best horror movie. While it was nowhere that good I still enjoyed the whacky premise. The movie is about this dude that captures people and sews them together in fucked up experiments. I dont want to give away the "money" scene of the movie but its pretty shocking when it happens. While watching the movie I thought there was a lot of unintentional laughs but after the Q and A session with the funny ass director Tom Six, Im not so sure anymore. The craziest Q and A session Ive ever been a part of. To say much more about it would be spoiling the movie. Not for everyone but if you are into fucked up horror then this may be up your alley. Also a terrific performance by Dieter Laser as the main doctor. Very good movie but just dont let the hype overwhelm you. Final Rating: 7.25/10
At this point I was fully rested and ready to heavy metal. On my slate were 4 more movies. Starting off with British horror movie Salvage, Breathless, Ninja Assassin, and ending with the insane Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl.
Salvage
Damn I was pretty disappointed with this movie. British horror movies lately have been kicking my ass in a good way so I was pumped to start the day with this. Hell even the poster is kick ass. Instead what I got was a very boring average horror flick at best. The movie started off pretty solid with news report of a mysterious tanker crate that was found on the beach and empty. The story follows a teenage girl with her divorced Dad thats on his way to drop her off at her mom's house for Christmas. When the girl arrives she finds her mom fucking some dude she had just hooked up with. The girl goes across the street to stay at her friends and then the rest of the movie focuses on her mom and this married dude she fucking and doesnt even know his name. Pretty soon after that this paramilitary group comes in shooting and telling the citizens to stay locked in their house. The movie trys to be mysterious not revealing whether the military guys are there to protect or whether they have an ulterior motive. Basically its a monster/infected movie focusing on this white trash mom and her f buddy as they survive the day. Not really anything scary happens and the characters themselves are pretty bland. I really wish they would have stayed with the teenage girl instead. Not really much to say about this movie but its very forgettable. I think its filmed pretty well and I liked some of the perfomances but not enough to really recommend it. Final Rating: 6/10
Breathless
This ended up being one of the highest rated films of the festival so I was pretty pumped to see it. Not to mention im a huge fan of Korean cinema in general and this was suppose to be a great self financed directorial debut from an up and coming director. I can say I really liked it but it fell short of loving it. The movie is about this debt collector that lives his life not giving a shit about anyone and doing anything he fucking likes. Did i mention yet this movie has probably more cussing than any other movie ive ever seen? Not only that everyone in the movie fucking hits or slaps everyone else. So the movie focuses on the debt collector and this high school chick that he meets one day. Not really much goes except just showing there normal daily lives. Not sure if the movie suppose to have some time of deep message about violence or Korean culture. I enjoyed a majority of it but thought the ending was a little predictable and cliche. If you are into Korean dramas then this movie will satifsy. Final Rating: 7/10
Ninja Assassin
I grew up on Ninja movies. Both Revenge of the Ninja and Shogun's Ninja are still some of my favorite movies. I remember owning nunchuckas, flying stars, throwing knives and other ninja shit. There hasnt been a big budget American ninja movie in some time so I was also looking forward to this especially since its theatrical release is not until November 25th. This movie I think accomplishes what it set out to do. Just be a fun popcorn kick ass action flick. The strong points are the pacing, the blood, the performances and the blood. Yes there is a shit load of gore and blood even if it is all cgi. I was shocked when Mctiegue admitted that the MPAA passed it as R without any cuts at all. There are still a few problems I had with it. The biggest complaint I have along with other people ive read and talked to was that a lot of action scenes and fighting was done in the dark so it was hard to see a lot that was going on. There were also a little too many flashback training scenes. But the movie was paced pretty well and wasnt overlong. I was also happy the movie was pretty brutal. Even though the blood was all cgi it was still some of the best cgi blood to date. Only a few blood scenes I had a problem with. The acting was solid even though the dialogue and story wasnt the most original. Rain did an awesome job as the Ninja Assassin and his English was pretty damn good. In conclusion I think a majority of action fans are going to dig this movie. It did have a slight throw back action feel to it I really dug. Final Rating: 7.5/10
Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl
Yep you read the movie title right. This movie is as silly and goofy as it sounds. This is the newest film from the director of last years Tokyo Gore Police. I love this new wave of Japanese blood spray action movies such as Machine Girl, Tokyo Gore Police, Robo Geisha, and Hard Revenge Milly. The movie is about this smokin hot Japanese chick thats the new girl at school and falls for this dude pretty hard. This dude is kind of dating this other smoking hot chick who's Dad is a teacher and one of the head people at the high school. You quickly find out that the new girl is really a vampire and is killing the people in town. Also the nurse and teacher are mad scientists and making people into frankensteins. So basically they confront each other and have a huge final battle. This movie is extremely goofy in parts. There are several high school cliques that are ridiculous, like the wrist cutter girls and this group of girls that all want to be black. The movie flows very well though and will have you laughing the whole time. Not for everyone but if you dig this style then you will love this movie. Final Rating: 7/10
Fantastic Fest Day 4 & 5 I was so tired and burnt out I primarily rested these two days and took care of some personal stuff. The only movie I saw was Uwe Boll's Rampage and I walked out of Morphine cuz I was bored to death. Rampage Movie Review People have called me a Uwe Boll apologist and I dont deny it. Yeah his early movies are terrible to average at best but I think he has turned a corner recently with his recent output. Tunnel Rats is still one of my favorite movies of the year and Stoic is very very solid. While Rampage is not one of his best it still is a pretty good movie. The story is ultra simple. A dude that lives with his parents gets fed up with life and buys a kevlar suit of armor and goes down the street killing people and robbing a bank. The movie is filmed with handheld on a lot of shots and shows a lot of close up interview style with the main guy kind of explaining his motivations. Half the movie is set up and then he finally goes on his rampage. Those scene were cool and eerily realistic looking. There is a fantastic scene where he goes into a bingo hall unnoticed. It was very different than what you probably would expect. Its definitely more of a drama with some action bits thrown in. I really liked the look and feel of it but something was missing to put it over the top. I cant really put my finger on it but I thought it was well done but just average. I can see how people would either like it or hate it though. I do give Uwe credit for his awesome Q & A session afterwards. People were grilling him left and right and he handled it all very well. One dude said "my friend told me to ask you to please stop making movies!" He was also asked where does he fit in the heirarchy of directors and basically answered that he dont care he's just doing what he likes. He did mention Tunnel Rats and Stoic a lot so I think even he realizes that this is probably a new era for the director which im looking forward to. Final Rating: 6/10
Fantastic Fest Day 3 Day three is here and I was started to feel the lack of sleep. Today I saw four more movies. A documentary, an insane action movie and ended it with two more horror comedies. Cropsey The only documentary of the festival but it felt right at home in the spirit of the fest. Its basically about this dude named Cropsey that was arrested for murder in the 70's for the death of a young girl on staten island New York. He is also suspected for the disappearance of up to 6 more children. The movie was co directed by two directors who were very visible during the documentary itself which I liked quite a bit. They grew up in the area so they were very with the material and did a great job just exposing the story itself and trying to dig up answers. The fault of the movie for me is that they didnt really end up exposing some big secret or conspiracy like they were probably hoping. Still I enjoyed it for what it was. Final Rating: 6.5/10 Yatterman When it comes to Takishi Miike you just never know what the fuck you are going to get. It could either be pure twisted genious or just some crazy bullshit. Luckily this movie is much more like the former that the latter. After a funny video introduction to the movie the movie starts full force. The movie feels like a big budget anime cartoon show that was filmed live action. Normally I would hate this shit but there was just a unique touch that just kept me glued to the screen. 90% of the movie was cgi heavy which actually really worked with the spirit of the movie. The story is about a group of heroes called Yatterman that weekly fight against a group of criminals called the Doronbo gang. They are both in search of the pieces of this magical skull that will give its inheritors extreme power. Basically 3 different times in the movie the two teams meet and battle it out with Yatterman always on top. To be honest. It was cheesy, melodramtic, some juvenile humor but it all just worked for me. Final Rating: 7.75/10 Yesterday This is an ultra low budget Canadian zombie comedy. Its your basic set up with survivors trying to look for other survivors and make their way out of the city. Its just a couple of friends that meet up with a loner dude that is a professional shooter and two assholes that find delight in shooting the zombies and even normal humans. There are some cool gory kills and some intentional and unintentional humor that really worked. The story wasnt the most original and some of the camera work and acting were shoddy. But I still applaud them for their effort and its definitely better than the average stdvd crap out there. Final Rating: 6.25 The Revenant The 4th horror comedy Ive seen at the festival and one of the best. This won the festival award for best director of a horror movie. The movie is about this soldier thats killed and shipped back over to the U.S. for his funeral. He's buried in a coffin and he awakes at night as a creature of the night. He seeks out his best friend for help. The chemistry between the two leads was awesome. Chris Wylde was funny as hell as the not too bright loyal friend. His delivery and facial expressions were dead on. The movie has a strange turn with the friends becoming essentially a vigilante group of crime fighters. Also there is a scene and gag that I could see being highly controversial but still worked very well. Im not too sure about the final 15 minutes if they could have come up with something better but I thought it ended on a very strong beat. This is a very professionally made movie and a shame it hasnt been picked up for distribution or even a theatrical release. Final Rating: 7.75
What an amazing festival so far. By far the best one ive attended. Out of 9 movies so far only two that I disliked. Unfortunately day two started off like day one. With a bad movie.
The Legend is Alive
The Legend may be alive but this movie viewer was almost asleep. Not really much positive to say about this movie. Its basically a Vietnamese drama about a slow dude that lives with his mother and thinks his father is Bruce Lee. After his mother dies he tries to make his way to America and gets into trouble on the way trying to protect a young girl he encounters. Once the action starts its very amateurish and unimaginative. Final Rating: 3/10
Hard Revenge Milly and Hard Revenge Milly:Bloody Battle
I had no idea what to expect from these movies. Hard Revenge Milly is a low budget crazy Japanese short movie (47 min) in the vein of Machine Girl. Its post apocalyptic Japan and Milly's husband and child and killed and burned before her eyes. Milly is also horribly wounded and left for dead. But a mad scientist finds her and makes her a half human/ half cyborg killing machine with a shotgun in her kneecap, mechanical arms from her chest along with a flame thrower. So Milly is out to get revenge on her torturers. Simply storyline but thats all it needed. It had some instane stuntwork and some great fight choreography that was often very funny. Hard Revenge Milly: Bloody Battle was the full length follow up that was shown immediately after it. It was just more of the same thing except for Milly now has a mechanical arm that can shoot off of her body attached to a cable. These were not for everybody but I had a blast watching it. Final Rating for the two: 7/10.
Sweet Karma
This movie was a very low budget revenge thriller. The story is about this Russian mute chick named Karma that is out to get revenge on the people who kidnapped her sister and sold her into slavery on the Canadian black market. The was the first just ok movie I saw at the festival. I didnt hate it but didnt really like it either. It was probably a little too ambitious for the low budget. Final Rating: 6/10
Trick r Treat
There was just no way this movie can live up to the hype. The wait is finally over. Ive been looking forward to this movie for almost two years. Even though its about to be released on dvd I was grinning just thinking about watching it on the big screen. For the most part it didnt disappoint. The first thing that popped out was the awesome set design. From the houses, to the streets lined with pumpkins, to the parade till all the stuff in the woods all of it just tied together perfectly. While it was an anthology movie it was pretty different by not really have it split up into sections but having it all flow together till it ties up in the end. There was basically four different storylines which I liked to different varying degrees. The werewolf story I liked the least with the kids going to the rock quarry was my overall favorite. Not as good as I hoped but still a solid horror anthology. Final Rating: 7.5/10.
Doghouse
This was the midnight screening on day two of Fantastic Fest. The only thing I knew about this movie was this it was done by Jake West whose last two full length movies were the shitty Pumpkinhead sequel and the just ok Evil Aliens. Wow I was pleasantly surprised. This was a very solid horror comedy. It was about a group of friends over in England that go on a weekend retreat to help cheer up their mate that was recently divorced. When they arrive at the small village they immediately notice something is not right. They encounter a bunch of crazy zombie bitches out for blood. Also their female bus driver turns to a zombie and prevents them from leaving in their chartered shuttle bus. The only survivor they encounter tells them that its a military experiment gone wrong and the virus only affects females. Stuck in the village the men basically go from house to house, store to store trying to devise an escape plan. Not only were the gore and kills pretty cool, but there was a lot of funny moments. Yeah its another zombie comedy but I think it did enough to stand out on its own. It may actually be my favorite zombie comedy ever. Final Rating: 8.25/10
Friday, September 25, 2009
Fantastic Fest Day One Wow what a fucking day one. I was ecstatic to find out I was able to pick all 4 movies I wanted to see. I was pretty skeptical of the new ticket system but everything seems to be good so far. Without further ado here are my reviews.
First Squad I cant believe I started off the day with this piece of shit. I was hoping this wasnt a sign for how the rest of the day was going to be and luckily it wasnt. This was an anime that was a co production between a Russian and Japanese company. The movie is a supernatural World War 2 story that is based around some actual historical facts. Its basically about this psychic girl thats part of a secret Russisan paranormal team called the First Squad. She is the only remaining survivor and she has to help thwart a German plot to raise some medieval General and super soldier from the dead to destroy the Russian front. Sounds interesting but its handled piss poor. Their is very little action and what little bit it shows is very uninspired. The animation was average at best. The only cool things about the movie was it had actual interviews with real people throughout the movie trying to give it a different feel but the problem is that it had way too many snippets of that. Also the soundtrack by DJ Krush was pretty cool. Overall it was a snoozefest. Final Rating 3/10
Merantau Holy shit where the fuck did this movie come from? Oh yeah Indonesia. This movie kicked me square. Im just now taking the ice pack off my junk. Not even sure where to start with this movie. The best single description I can think of is the movie is like if Tony Jaa actually starred in a professionally made movie. Ive watched hundreds of martial arts movies in my life and I can attest that this is some of the best martial arts cinematography that ive ever seen. It has the perfect balance of far away shots and the more modern western technique of handheld "shaky" cam. Also he does a sweeping and low shots that all work to perfection. The story is nothing unique but it doesnt really have to be. Its basically about this dude named Yuda that goes to the big city to find his place in life. When he arrives he helps an innocent lady and gets tangled up with some bad guys. The main "baddie" is a stereotypical crime boss white guy. But the movie is filmed so professionally and well acted you can help but to go with the flow. It comes close to being too melodramatic but never really crossed the line for me. The martial arts itself is an Indonesian style called Silat that works well on camera. While Tony Jaa may be the current king of screen martial arts this dude Iko Uwais is not far behind. He may even have a leg up in the acting department. When they introduced the movie they said that he was just a truck driver and this was his first acting role of any kind. Im looking forward to more from this dude for sure. Also the musical score and soundtrack kicked ass. The only minor complaint I had was with some of the wirework in a few scenes didnt work. Still I highly recommend this movie and look forward to more work from Iko and director Gareth Evans who also did an awesome job. Final rating: 9/10
Macabre I was intrigued by the concept of this movie. An Indonesian slasher/torture horror movie by two guys that call themselves the Mo Brothers. I know American torture horror is played out for the most part but I still enjoy watching foreign takes on the genre. The movie is pretty simple. A group of 6 friends pick up a stranded girl and take her home to her house out in the countryside. When they arrive her mother convinces them to stay and eat a gratitude meal she's prepared for them with her two twisted sons. Pretty soon after the meal the bloodshed begins. And I mean blood....more blood...and even more blood. The first 2/3rds of the movie was average but the blood hits the fan in the last act. There are a few torture moments that really worked but there was also a lot of slasher elements with chases in the woods and around a dark house. There is also a slight supernatural element that really worked for me.Overall I had a fun time. It you enjoy something different but still familiar such as Frontieres then you would probaly dig this movie. Final Rating: 7/10
Rec 2 I absolutely loved the first Rec. Its easily in my top 10 horror movies this decade. Even though the same directors were back I was worried that it would feel rushed or just thrown together. I can say it was pretty much what I was hoping it would be. The movie takes place immediately after the events of the first movie. There is a group of soldiers along with a Dr. that go to the building to check it out. Its really hard to talk about the movie without spoiling some of the twists. Lets just say there is more to the Dr. than what he says there is and there is another element added to the mix that at least made it interesting. Im not sure if I totally buy into it but I commend them for doing something different. What it still succeeds at doing is conveying the claustraphobic feeling with this crazy people. There are now little kids and other infected people that are still fast and brutal as ever. Also some of the kills are crazy fun. To sum it up its not quite as good as the first but still a solid sequel. Final Rating: 8/10
Cowards Corner Horror Reviews Jamie gives his take on Coming Soon (Horrorphilia Ep. 6), The Children (Ep. 2), Dead Snow (Ep. 2), and also Pontypool. Its refreshing to see a different take on some of the movies me and Borp reviewed.
Coming Soon A Ghost horror movie from Thailand? Can they change it up and bring some originality to this stale genre? Or should they only make Tony Jaa movies? The answer is: Please bring us Ong Bak 3. The story has the right idea but runs out of steam with overused sequences. A movie called Evil Spirit is being shown to the cast and
crew. The projectionist has plans to sell the movie as a pirate DVD. The guy that is recording the movie on his camcorder vanishes. Then begins the quest to see what happens. There is a hanging death scene in the movie so after you watch it you later die. It does explain it all but it has been done before. A good ghost movie has to be scary. How many times has someone looked down a hall and not seen anything then turned around and bam there is the ghost. This happens non stop and you saw it coming miles away. This reminded me of the Eye, Ring, and Grudge all blended together. I was very bored half way through and was just waiting to see how it wrapped it up and I can only say one thing Halloween 3. Not recommended.
The Children Review
I know I am late on this one everyone else has talked about it. I have been lazy it was sitting on my desk for a few months now. I am glad I watched it for it was great, way better then I was expecting. Simply put a family reunion in the woods were no cops can get to. So you know some shit is going down. Soon the kids go
straight Damian on there parent�fs ass. How do you direct kids to be evil, scary and downright creepy? This director pulled it off. Parents and kids are killed off in gruesome ways. It does not explain shit which is one thing that hurt it, but
it is set up for a sequel. You know how Jaws made people not go in the water. I do not have kids but if I did I would never take them to a secluded house in the woods. Highly recommended.
Pontypool Here is a movie that works in so many ways. Many people will hate because it is advertised as a Zombie movie. It really is not but it plays on your fears and works out great. Grant Mazzy is a new DJ at a small radio station in Pontypool Canada. Reports start coming in that something is going on. Some kind of outbreak. They stay in the station and report what they find out. You learn as
they do and the tension rises. As you find out more it becomes apararent how the writers wanted to make a different type of movie and for that I was thankful. Zombie movies are starting to get a little overdone. With some of the best acting I have seen the story draws you in and kept me till the end. At first viewing the second
half did lack the same punching power. After thinking about it a few days I saw were they were going. It deserves more than one viewing and appreciation.
Dead Snow Watching the commercials you have a good idea this will not be a smart film just crazy. I love the idea of Nazi zombies and was looking forward to this. As most films like these start we have a group of young adults that are going out to a cabin out in the mountains again secluded. There is a back story that explains the
zombies and when they show up gruesome deaths happen. The survivors decide to fight back which was nice. You had to wait a good 30 minutes before the killing begins. Overall it was lots of fun and would not see it again unless I had a house full of drunk people. A good fun entry to the Zombie market.
This is my first video review. I think its a good change of pace to my written reviews. Expect many more in the future. Let me know what you think.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Coward's Corner
*repost from 09/09/2008 with updated review of part 6. Someday Ill watch the movies. I had never read any Harry Potter books or seen there movies. Many times people ask me about them and I cannot comment. I finally had to see what the big deal was. So this last weekend I sat down and go caught up on harry potter movies. there are 7 books, 5 are movies out to rent pt 6 the half blood prince will be released next July and the final book pt 7 the deathly hallows will be milked for all its worth making 2 movies out of it pt 1 and 2 will be released in 2010. Most people say the books are better and things were changed. This happens to all movies why should potter be any different.All I care about is are they good movies and how is the series.Well I'm ready for pt 6 since the bar was raised in pt 5 and the same director David Yates will finish out the series I'm pretty excited. I will do this review on the whole series then break down each movie on its own.
So we enter a fantasy world of wizards and witches. In this fantasy world wizards and witches all start out young and go to school. this fantasy world is governed by the ministry of magic and they try to keep a peace and safe world. Well years ago a evil wizard Voltamore and his followers led a rebellion and killed a few wizards and witches in his killing spree he killed a husband and wife team and tried to kill there baby. But the baby was not killed and Voltamore vanished. The baby is smuggled out of fantasy world and put in his uncles house to live till he is 11. At 11 he is allowed to come to wizard school to begin his training. Since he survived the attack as a baby he is all ready famous and thought to be this great wizard. Wizards are not made overnight. In fact these movies cover one year of Harrys life as he learns his form. This Is what makes the series.You See harry grow and have to accept who he is. Sometimes I missed the little kid harry just learning. As he gets older things get worse and more adult. You grow up with him and got through the same challenges he does.AS pt 5 ended I was ready for 6 I guess the series did its job.
Pt1 The Sorcerers Stone directed by Chris Columbus To start off a franchise is risky if the first one does do well there can be no more so who do they get to direct. A safe comedy director. Chris Columbus has done such masterpieces as home alone, home alone 2 Mrs Doubtfire.This really scared me what he would do to it. Well as it turned out he was the right choice the first movie is a beginning tale about a 11 yr old boy.His first year of school buying wizard supplies like wands and broomsticks.Meeting new friends and learning about the teachers. The movie ended I wanted to know more about what harry would become. Pt 2 The Chamber of Secrets directed by Chris Columbus Now that everyone is introduced we start to get a mystery, this will be in every movie. Something is happening and harry and his friends have to solve it. With more effects and more magic you can see CC has more money.Overall I was kinda bored and it felt to family kiddie Pt 3 Prisoner of Azkaban directed by Alfonso Cuaron So now the stories are getting a little more dark and adult. So out with CC. I do not know how they chose AC but until this film he had did great expectations and the spanish hit "y tu mama tambien". The bar is now raised as AC shows us that its not all Disney and cotton candy. The story is a mystery but with a nice twist at the end. We also are introduced to Gary Oldman "who can do no wrong in my book" as a welcome co star to the series. With the effects out shining the previous 2 this one left me wanting more.
Pt 4 The Goblet of Fire directed by Mike Newell Mikes last 3 movies were Pushing Tin, Mona Lisa Smile and Donnie Brasco. So nothing too impressive here. Well this story is the weakest one, IM not sure what they changed from the book but Im sure it hurt. I was bored until the end, even with dragons and evil mermaids could not help it.The ending is a cliffhanger with a friend of Harrys dying and Harry going one one with Voltamore. Worst of the series so far. Pt 5 Order of the Phoenix directed by David Yates Now harry is becoming a man and possibly going to the dark side, he has to make a choice. Finally we get wizard battles, the last 30 min had me cheering and wanting Harry to whip some ass. Special appearance by Helena Bonham Carter makes the ending even better.My order pt3 and 5 are tied for first, then prt 1,2,4
Pt 6. Harry potter and the half blood Prince
Damn I was wanting this to be good. The last movie order of the phoenix which I really liked left me wanting more. The same director David Yates returns and will finish out the series. After watching the last 5, I went and read the last 2 books and was blown away. So here we are with 2 movies left now, part 7 will be in 2 parts. Some people say it's for the money but I think to truly tell the final book it needs to be 2 parts or a 4 hour movie. Anyway on to this one. Of course like all the books they add and delete many things. This one they went too far. The scenes they added made no sense and they left out really important scenes especially the ending. This is the last one were Hogwarts is featured and they let that slide. No more
ghost or moving pictures, it's like they had no money to invest into it. Shit had not hit the fan yet so things still should have been normal. I think maybe the director was trying to copy Alfonso Curran from pt 3. I'm hoping he does not cheap out or change everything on the last 2 movies. I"m worried now since he messed this one up. The more I think about it the more disappointed I am. You have to see finish the series but do not get in a hurry to.
Rant: Dragonforce haters I remember about 7 years ago or so I first heard the metal band Dragonforce. I loved it, the tight rhythms, awesome solos and great production. I told people about it and called it speed metal on crack.I always wondered though could they do it live? Well years later we know the answer. I have never seen them live but have read many reviews and seen many videos of them. The answer is no they cannot play this well or fast live. Because of this they are now on many peoples hit list. I see people in the internet community all the time trashing these guys all because they cannot play live. Watch any video on you tube and most of the comments will be negative saying there not a live band. I find myself having to defend them many times. As a metal community we have to understand that many people think bands like slipknot and disturbed are metal. We have to unify and show people what real metal is. Yeah they cant do it live but they have to do it in the studio. They show real skill and talent more than most so called metal bands. In fact most of the posers that rag on them do not know shit about guitar or how to do a solo. We should support the true metal bands and not tear them down. SO for you all you Dragonforce haters go plug in your guitar hero lock the door and shut the fuck up.
Rant: Paul WS Anderson Earlier on this site a rant was made on Bryan Singer. I agree with it.there is one more director that I have to discuss, for he is about to rape my childhood. I remember when I first saw the commercial for Death Race. I thought wow this looks like a Paul Anderson movie and low and behold it was. Most of the time when I say this looked like a "blank movie" its normally a good thing. Many master directors have perfected there craft and you can tell from the style of the movie that it is them. For Paul though his style is crap so if it looks like crap, smells like crap it must be crap. Lets look at Pauls history of movies before death race, AVP resident evil, soldier, event horizon, mortal kombat. Every one of these movies was a good rental. SO why is he not making straight to video movies?Well most of those movies made good cash for the studio so they ask him to come back. This happens many times in Hollywood make the studio money first have no talent second. Paul's next movie is spy hunter which I could care less about. But he is writing and producing the adaption of one of my favorite video games ever Castlevania. A early review on the script from aicn proved I was right. My childhood is about to be raped by some talentless hack. Please stop supporting this scrub and send a message to the studio by boycotting all of Pauls movies.
Jamie's back with his review of the Death Note series. I remember receiving an email request to review this so apparently there are die hard fans out there.
Death Note
I ran across a Japanese movie called Death Note it was the most successful movie ever in Japan. I found out it was based on a Manga comic then was made into an Anime series. I looked up the series on hulu and checked it out. I then watched the 3 live action movies that came after the Anime.
Death Note Anime - Well this series is 14 hours so if you got some free time to kill this is a good way to waste it. I am not an expert on Anime and many people said in the Hulu talkbacks that there were much better series out there. Of course it dragged it a little and was many things that needed to be cut. Any crime detective story relies on the 2 antagonist. This story had it in spades. So young Light who is about 18 finds the death note and with it he can write anyone's name in it and they die. Once he tries it out he realizes he wants to be the God of the new world and rid the world of evil. So of course killing all these criminals brings in the police and the number One detective in the world "L" who is also 18.
It soon becomes a chess game between Light and L of who can get to each other first. On Hulu it was divided into 37 - 23 minute shows and the pacing of each show worked, most of the times they left me hanging wanting to know more. Since it is an Anime you may ask how the animation is. Again I am no expert but I think it was done well. Many times when someone died or was tricked you could see it in there eyes before they died. I was happy with this and did not think my 14 hours was wasted. Check it out.
Death Note 1 and 2 live action Well both together are almost 4 hours so they had to cut a lot of material. Did they pick the right ones? They also added a few things. Overall they did a good job and liked the pacing of the movie it nice to guess what they were going to keep. Again the main power is the 2 stars L and Light. Casting was great for L and light was just ok. I'm not a big fan of this guy. If you had seen Battle Royale he is one of the kids that survive. I think someone who has not seen the anime would get into it. I would say check them both out since they're one long movie.
Death Note L change the world
Japan took a note from Hollywood's book. When death note 2 grossed way more then part 1 they said "hey we should take advantage and continue the story even though they ended it." So now we get the continuing adventures Of L which are pretty boring and weak since it was not based on anime or comic. You can do without this one "special note". If you watch the death note movies and do not have time to watch the anime send me a message on this comment with your email and I will tell you what happened on the anime.
The first half of the year started off with some kick ass comedies. I enjoyed Sex Drive, Fired Up and even Van Wilder: Freshman Year. This past week I saw 3 more comedies I was anxiously waiting to watch in hopes the trend would keep up. That trend crashed, burned and got thrown down the garbage disposal. All 3 of these movies were highly disappointing. First up is I Love You Man. I heard mixed reviews of this movie but still had high hopes because I really enjoy Paul Rudd's performances. Even though he's not a comedian per se, he plays opposite of one almost better than anyone else I can think of. The problem was not really the acting it was more or less the story and dialogue. They were very few truly funny parts and I was bored a majority of the movie. Even Jason Segals character was lame and I didnt even know why anyone would want to be friends with his character. Thrown in a cheesy predictable ending and wallah, a generic comedy. I do give it points for all the Rush love, but not enough to make the movie enjoyable.
Numero Dos disappointing movie I saw was Road Trip: Beer Pong. The only reason I had high hopes for this was because it starred miss "stupendous tits of the year" (from Friday the 13th remake) Julianna Guill. Well there were lots of tits allright, just none of them were from that buxom beauty. She played a "good girl" and I guess the director didnt feel the need for her to show her goods. What a fucking waste. I waited the whole movie for the moment and even in the last act it was a perfect opportunity for her to do it, and I was left swinging in the wind. Besides that the movie was boring and pretty predictable. I may have smiled a few times no true laughs.
Last comedy I saw was for Miss March. This movie bombed at the box office but I thought the trailers looked pretty decent. Its about this dude thats about to bang his g/f at a party for the first time but instead he falls down a flight of stairs and goes into a coma. When he wakes up its several years later and his chick is now a playboy bunny. He and his crazy buddy go on a road trip to go to the playboy mansion to confront her. Sounds decent right? Too bad this movie fell flat in so many ways. Another lame comedy where a majority of the gags just didnt work. Most of the acting was pretty terrible and it just wasnt funny. Thats too bad cuz i liked the main premise. Movies like these are what make me think that comedies are overall one of the shitties genres out there. Do any of you disagree?
Ratings:
I Love You Man 5.0 out of 10
Road Trip: Beer Pong 3.5 out of 10
Miss March 4.5 out of 10
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Stoic Movie Review
Directed by Uwe Boll
Starring Edward Furlong, Sam Levinson, and Shaun Sipos
Available on region 2 dvd and U.S. release date is not confirmed.
Wtf! When did Uwe Boll turn the corner and turn into a good director. Ive enjoyed all three of his movies released this year. Far Cry was action fluff but still enjoyable, Tunnel Rats is one of my favorite movies of the year, and Stoic is an unflinching brutal movie that I couldnt keep my eyes off of.
The story starts off with an imate hanging in his cell and his other three cellmates alerting the guards of what they discovered. The rest of the movie is interviews and flashbacks leading up to the "suicide" of this inmate. Based on a true story its a sordid tale of how an innocent card game turns into a severe beating, drinking piss, eating vomit, more beatings and much more sick shit.
Now I know this movie is not for everybody and even a few times myself I was questioning why I was watching it. There really is no purpose except to tell this one sick story. What kept me engaged was the performances and direction of the movie. Edward Furlong was awesome as the so called ring leader of the group, and the other guys were pretty good. Even though Ive never seen anything this extreme in person Ive met jackasses this type and can just imagine everything happening just as its told. The realism to the movie from the dialogue to the performances just make it hit that much harder.
The handheld camera work and the direction just worked flawlessly. I wrote Edward Furlong off after his performance in Dark Reel this year but he definitely redeemed himself in this movie. And I will never write off Uwe Boll from this point again. On a scale of 1-10 I give this a broomstick, 7.75 out of 10.
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Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Night Train
*repost from 01/28/2009 Directed by Brian King
Starring Danny Glover, Leelee Sobieski, and Steve Zahn
Availability: release date for either dvd or theatrical release has not yet been decided. My opinion is that it will probably be a straight to dvd release.
I thought it was a servicable thriller. I was mainly excited to see it because it starred Steve Zahn. I think he's a very good underrated actor. I was also interested to see the chemistry with Steve working with Leelee since they already worked together in Joy Ride.
The movie is about these passengers on a night train to somewhere unknown. All thats really obvious is that its friggin cold. This one strange passenger gets on clutching a present tight to his chest. He dies from some unknown reason and two passengers(Steve and Leelee) plus a train worker (Glover) decide to open up the box that he's carrrying. Inside they see diamonds and jewels worth millions. They decide to work together to get rid of the body and keep the contents for themselves. Of course greed gets in their way, mistrust, police looking for the passenger and other things go awry. Plus there is much more to the box then whats originally thought. I somewhat mildly enjoyed it. The story was pretty cool eventhough somewhat predictable. Steve played it more straight than the normal goofball he usually plays. Glover is getting so friggin old but he did a solid job with the material. If you are a big fan of the actors or love the thriller genre then i can recommend it but overall it was what I call a background movie. You know the kind that can play in the background while you do chores around the house and watch every few minutes. On a scale of 1-10 I give this an "ice fishing surprise" 6.1 out of 10.
Trailer
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Coward Corner
Jamie's back just in time for the 4th of July holiday. War Corner I have been watching the military channel and it put me in the mood to watch some war movies I had not seen and refresh my memories of others.
Band of Brothers
Most people have heard of this miniseries, but still a few have not seen it. 10 hours long I can understand why some people would not have the time to invest. It's good to know your history about the battles before you go into this. We follow the 101st airborne division Easy company as they have apart of every major battle in the European theater. From Normandy to Holland to Germany, you're with this group of guys as they brave the battles. Since you're by their side you feel close to them and are unnerved when they are killed. It is very historicaly accurate and one of the best miniseries ever made. Many young people these days have no idea what it was like and that freedom is not free. Take a day off and watch the entire series and come back changed.
The Great Raid
Now we switch to the Japanese side of the war. When General MacArthur returned to the Philippines after 3 years, Japan knew they were doomed and would soon lose the islands. They had a policy of killing all POWs. One camp they burned alive 150 of them, few escaped and told the story. Well the army heard of a POW camp of 500 near the city of Cabanatuan and knew they would be killed before they got there. They sent the 6th Ranger battalion, 120 in all to march 30 miles in silence to rescue these guys before they were killed. They find out the Japanese were reinforced and had around 8,000 men in the area. With the help of Filipino underground and guerrilla fighters they rescued the POWs with only losing 2 guys. This was the greatest rescue raid ever in American history. Some reason this story was forgotten and many people do not know about it. Here you can see a realistic movie of this famous event. I also recommend the book Ghost Soldiers by Hampton Sides which is what this movie is based on. Next time you meet a war veteran or even a POW please give them respect and thank them. Freedom is not free.
Downfall
Now we switch to the Germany side and relive the last days of Hitler. Berlin is surrounded by the Russians, Hitler and his inner circle are held up in there underground bunker. This is based on a book by Traudl Jung, Hitler's secretary who escaped Berlin after it fell. This movie gives us a human side to Hitler and his followers.
A full German cast with Bruno Ganz as the Hitler, this is a refreshing story that needed to be told. Hitler is in denial that they have lost even though his commanders knew it was over. You also see his family and followers what they would do and the lengths they would go for him, Unlike a American movie were they would probably cast Americans and give them a German accent these actors fit the part and you really believe you are a fly in Hitler's bunker. As the Russians close in things get worse as Hitler realizes all is lost and decides to kill himself, his wife and dog. This is a must see movie and one particular scene will haunt you for days.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Uwe Boll Movie Reviews for Far Cry and 1968 Tunnel Rats
*repost from 03/12/2009 Its so fucking hard to review Uwe Boll films. Most reviews that talk about his movies cant separate the man from the movie. I mean the dude has a petition website for him to retire! I cant remember any director in my lifetime that is so despised as Uwe. I gotta admit I have a soft spot for Uwe the man. Any director that challenges to critics to boxing matches (and wins) will always get a thumbs up in my book. Is the dude that talented? Hell no. Most of his movie are below average as a matter of fact. But I admire his ambition, his funny and candid interviews and I believe he truly loves what he's doing. I originally popped my Uwe cherry about a year ago. I had never seen any of his movies and within a week's time I had watched House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne, and Bloodrayne 2. Later on I eventually saw Seed and Postal. Out of all of those the only one I can even recommend to some degree is the original Bloodrayne. It wasnt great art but I had fun watching the action and Michael Madsen hamming it up. As a matter of fact I think his last 3 movies Seed, Postal and Bloodrayne 2 are giant piles of shit. The reason I brought up this back story is because im not a huge Uwe lover and his recent work was crap but despite all of that I was shocked to report I actually am recommending both of his newest movies: Far Cry and 1968 Tunnel Rats.
Far Cry
Directed by Uwe Boll
Starring Til Schweiger, Emmanuelle Vaugier, Michael Pare and Udo Kier.
Available on dvd hopefully soon in the U.S.
This is not a good movie. Im not going to beat around the bush. The action sequences were average, the acting was inconsistent, and some of the humor fell flat. Despite all of that I was still entertained. By far this is his best video game adaption. The look and feel of the movie really reminded me of Far Cry 1 and Far Cry: Instincts. The storyline was basically taken straight from Far Cry Instincts. This has nothing at all to do with the recent Xbox 360 and Ps3 Far Cry 2 video game.
The movie is about this ex special forces agent, Jack Carver (Til Schweiger) is a a boat driver that gets hired to take a news reporter to an island to look for her missing Uncle thats part of an undercover operation. The main baddie leader (Udo Kier) is doing scientific experiments on his own soldiers in an attempt to make the perfect super soldier to sell to the highest bidder. (No not original but it is taken from the video game.) The missing uncle was caught spying, and made into a super soldier. Jack and the chick get caught, then they have to escape while also trying to fight against the band of super soldiers that were accidentally released. The movie is so full of fucking action movie cliches. Jack also meets this fat dude thats just there for comedy relief. Most of it falls super flat but I did manage to laugh a few times. Theres one cool kill at the beginning of the movie and a decent parkour running and death scene towards the end. Im also not 100% sure I was happy with Uwe changing Jacks character from a laid back American to a laid back German. Nothing against Germans but the change threw me off.
All in all this was just a mindless popcorn movie thats good to watch every once in awhile. It did have a cool 80's/early 90's type of action vibe that Universal Soldier, Army of One and other bullshit movies had. Its definitely no worse than those. Just kick back, drink some brew and kill a quick hour and a half. On a scale of 1-10 I give this a-most people wont give it a second chance because Uwe's name is attached to it- 6.2 out of 10.
1968 Tunnel Rats aka Tunnel Rats
Directed by Uwe Boll
Starring Michael Pare and a bunch of no names.
Available on dvd 06/30/2009
This is a good movie. With the exceptions of a few scenes most of the movie has no resemblance to a typical Uwe Boll movie. From the opening wide shot of a helicoptor over Vietnam to the tune of a cool 70's song Ive never heard from before, I was hoping it was a sign of good things to come. It was. This by far Uwe's most mature and complete movie. Im not sure if it was the writing, the above average acting of the ensemble cast, or just the subject matter but everything just felt right.
The movie is about a group of American soldiers led by Sgt Vic Hollowborn (Michael Pare) that come upon a group of underground tunnels used by the North Vietnamese. Im not a war buff but this was supposedly commonplace in the Vietnam War that I found out to be highly interesting. One by one the soldiers either fall into booby traps or are killed brutally by the Vietcong. The movie is not cheesy or melodramatic like so many war movies fall into. The movie also paints a strong picture of both sides as humans, and not just Americans as the "good guys" and the Vietcong as savages that deserved to die. Their are two huge strengths for the movie. The dialogue and chemistry of the cast kicked ass. There's not much dialogue but the quality of it just fit perfectly and made a smile on my face. If there is one big flaw with the movie is that I wanted more of the characters and I wished the movie would have been 20 minutes longer with just more dialogue scenes. The other highlight of the movie was the cinematography. Some cool crane shots and handheld shots that were very effective. All of the tunnel scenes were very cool. They were able to capture the claustrophobic feel to great effect. There is one harrowing scene where this dude is trapped on both sides of the one person size tunnel by dead bodies and he has to cut the VC into pieces just to get to the other side of him. There are several scenes where most directors would have cut away or it was edited to show time passage but Uwe just stays on the scene while it plays out in real time. One thing I was hoping was there wouldnt be any unrealistic fighting, shoot outs or wirefu but luckily Uwe came through again and all the fighting felt natural and realistic. No slo mo deaths or fanciful fighting but quick stabs, shots or grenade kills. War is a bitch and Uwe did an admiral job bringing this particular story to us. Not perfect but damn good. Best war movie Ive seen in awhile. On a scale of 1-10 I give this a "please dont end yet" 8.1 out of 10.
P.S. : ignore the hate for this or any movies by the ratings on imdb. There is a group of people that rate all of his movies a 1 just out of pure spite for the man, even if they have never seen the movie. Look at the breakdown of who rated this movie. Majority of the people either rate it a 1 (the haters) or a perfect 10. Look for yourself: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0970462/ratings
Far Cry (light spoilers)
1968 Tunnel Rats (medium spoilers)
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Horror Quick Hits
*repost from 04/30/2009 Ghosts of Goldfield released today 06/09/2009
Both of these movies are set to be released on dvd 05/05/2009 and both of these movies suck pretty hard. Neither one of these deserve a full length review so heres my thoughts on each.
From A Place of Darkness Review
Directed by Douglas Raine Starring John Savage and Bronson Pinchot The plot had so much potential but the movie failed to capitalize on it. The story is about this documentary filmmaker that is doing a documentary on a snuff film director. He has access to talk to him at length and to also work in the warehouse where all the killings and movies take place. If it would have just been that then it could have had mad potential. They could have played the angle where the documentary dude had to decide whether he was going to keep filming the guy to make a good movie or to turn on the guy and turn him in to the police. There is one cool scene where he does meet one of the potential victims. But alas the movie takes a left turn and the whole thing ends up having a supernatural element to it and the filmmaker dude is not even a real human. There is also another twist at the end but there just isnt enough to make the movie entertaining.
Rating: 4.5 out of 10.
Ghosts of Goldfield Review
Directed by Ed Winfield
Starring Marnette Patterson and Roddy Piper
What a boring piece of shit. There is practically nothing in this movie thats even remotely good. I think Marnette Patterson is hot but unfortunately this is a horror movie not a porno. The movie is about a group of friends that are doing a documentary on this haunted hotel. When they arrive they encounter a restless spirit that is there to kill them. Marnette's character is the granddaughter of the ghost and yada yada....same ol bullshit heard a thousand times before. Roddy Piper has a minor role and he's pretty fucking terrible and over the top. I was bored all the way to the very end. My only recommendation is to stay far away from this pile.
Rating: 2.2 out of 10.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Cowards Corner
GI Joe ResolutionReview
I neven even heard about this. Take it away Jamie. Originally aired on adult swim this is a true kick ass GI Joe film. you can now see at youtube broke up under 11 parts. This is the next best true GI Joe we will ever get. I doubt the summer movie will be this good. The main character is Snake eyes and he whips so much ninja ass its unreal. This GI Joe also does something the others did not, they kill people. Thats right they violently shoot and kill each other. Cobra loses way more troops but shit I was grinning the whole time especially when Snake Eyes cuts some guy in half. A must see for any GI Joe fan.
Part 1
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Lesbian Vampire Killers
Directed by Phil Claydon
Starring James Corden, Matthew Horne and a bunch of smokin hot babes
Available on dvd in Uk on July 27, 2009 but no U.S. releade date yet
How can a movie called Lesbian Vampire Killers not be that good? I dont know but asking director Phil Claydon could be a start. The reviews of this have been lackluster so far and I can see why. The premise has so much potential but fails miserably to live up to it. Now ive never heard of either of these two main British actors, but apparently they are semi popular tv stars over in England. They are both ok but they just dont have much to work with. The movie is about this dude that gets dumped by his psychotic g/f for the 8th time. His fuck up fat buddy convinces him they should take a vacation to forget about her. They throw a dart at a map and they vow to go hiking wherever it lands. So they end up going to a small little country town somewhere in England. While there they meet up with a bunch of hot chicks that are also on vacation. One of the chicks is on a quest to find a vampire priestess and her hot friends are tagging along to party. Once the two friends arrive at the town they go to a bar and meet some mysterious villagers and a crazy vicar who has a daughter thats about to be 18, which is the age that girls that are born there, turn to lesbian vamps. The barkeep refers them to a motel down the street for them to stay at for "free". The two dudes hook up with the hotties and make their way down to the hostel. Once they arrive, the hot chicks are attacked and turned to rug munching vamps in a matter of minutes. Pretty soon the main dude and chick get captured and prepared to be used in a ceremony to resurrect the Queen. So the Fat fuck friend and crazy vicar come to the rescue in the nick of time. I wont say its all garbage cuz I really like the set pieces and production values. It looked very slick and professional. The special and practical effects were top notch even though it was tame. All the chicks were super hot but there was little to nudity that I recall. Besides the cussing the movie felt very much like a tame "hollywood" type pg-13 movie. Which is not necessarily a bad thing but when you have a movie about vampires that like to lick clit then I think a harder gorier approach would have fit it better. For me with the exception of the occasional f bomb that mad me laugh most of the comedy fell flat. If you are into horror comedy then this is definitely above average but for me it could have been so much better. On a scale of 1-10 I give it a dike's wet dream, 5.8 out of 10.
