The Terminators Movie Review

Directed by Xavier Puslowski

Starring Jeremy London and hottie Lauren Walsh

Out of all the Stdvd crap Ive seen over the years this is the first time Ive seen a The Asylum production film. For those who aren't familiar with The Asylum they are a production studio who specializes in mockbusters. For instance when a big name movie is released they release a movie with a similar name in hopes of either tricking someone into thinking that it is the Hollywood movie and they rent it or they get people that just love the subject matter and just want to see more of it. For example when Transformers came out they released a movie called Transmorphers. They swear they dont try to trick the people, but my mom managed a movie store and she said people were tricked and pissed off on a regular basis. I'm not slamming their business model cuz I think its brilliant, but they should at least acknowledge it.

Not a great first impression of the company. This movie is pretty fucking terrible. The first 10-15 minutes were fun and I was buying into it but it quickly slowed to a crawl and started in with the bad dialogue and acting.

The plot is about these T5 cyborg robots that turn on their masters and decide to take over the Earth. They invade every major U.S. city and destroy it as heard in a radio news broadcast. There is a small band of survivors led by a small town sheriff, a cute chick and an ex military man Kurt, played by Jeremy London. Kurt luckily knows whats going on and has a plan to stop the terminators. All they have to do is get some rocket fuel for the spaceships he has laying around and fly to a base out in space and destroy the module that can override their systems. Pretty simple right? Too bad the military wasn't smart enough to figure that out.

Besides the ridiculous plot the visual effects are very inconsistent. The space stuff and even the ships landing on earth look top notch visually but the practical effects and set designs weren't very good. That did have a very sci fi channel feel to it. The sets were so cheap everything was labeled like on/off etc... All the T5 cyborgs were all based on this one muscular dude and all of them wear the same outfit. 90% of his screen time was him just running after the survivors. Besides some uninspired shootouts there were very few actual action scenes. Once the super robot comes to life at the end its the most anti climatic quickest ending I can remember in awhile. It was so quick I want even sure of what happened at first.

I wont totally wipe my ass with the movie cuz there were a few things I did like. Even though there wasn't a lot of gore there was a lot of blood splatter. There was a few cool in the distance kills like when a T5 is beating this dude on the ground and in one shot of the movie he punches through the back of this dude's head. Also when they get on board the base at the end of the movie there are a few dead bodies with limbs chopped off that was gory and effective.

Still the movie had so much potential to be better than what it ended up being. I don't know if it was budget constraints but the whole ending section felt very rushed. They should have just went straight campy and tried to make it a sobig (sobaditsgood) but instead it was halfway serious which made it seem like any other stdvd crap movie out there. Im sure its still getting tons of rentals out there. On a scale of 1-10 I give this a hot wiring ho, 3.4 out of 10.
Trailer