The Telling Movie Review

Directed by Nicholas Carpenter and Casey Ward

Starring Playboy Playmates

Available 4/14/2009

WAFSM! what a fucking shitty movie. How can a movie with that much fine tail suck so bad. The script was about as competent as a U.S. President. I think a majority of 5th graders could have come up with something better than that. This horror anthology stars some Playboy bunnies and was filmed at the Playboy mansion.

The movie has a ridiculous plot about these 3 chicks that are pledging a sorority. Each one of the chicks have to tell a scary story to earn consideration for joining. Now the sorority bunnies are fucking hot as hell but the chicks that star in the short stories are fugly. When you have a movie where acting is not a priority then they should have just stuck with the hot chicks instead of "real" actresses.

The first story about this evil doll is the only one even half way competent but its still so fucking generic and been done a thousand times before. The second story about this actress that gets invited to an undead dinner party was just fucking boring. By the third and last story about a slasher that gets into these chicks house, I was ready to fucking strap some meat to my body and have my dogs tear me to pieces. Not only the worst horror movie I saw this year but maybe the worst movie overall. Nite Tales w/ Flava Flav gives it a good run for the money though. Seriously dont waste even a second of your life on this garbage. There's not even any nudity or some good fake titties for it to rely on. If you want to see something good that's recent go watch Vinyan starring Rufus Sewell. On a scale of 1-10 I give this a hot brunette, 2.1 out of 10.

Trailer