Jokes of the WeekI hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I got to watch my Titans kick the shit out of the lions and I had some good food so im all good. Not too many nasty Thanksgiving jokes so you get this shit instead.
Thanksgiving Divorce
Eddie in Dallas calls his son in New York just before Thanksgiving and tells him, 'I am sorry to tell you but your mother and I are going to divorcing. I just cannot take any more of her moaning. We can't stand the sight of each other any more.' I am telling first, Eddie, because you are the eldest, please tell your sister.
When Eddie calls his sister Julie, she says: 'No way are they getting divorced, I will go over and see them for Thanksgiving.'
Julie phones here parents and tells them both 'You must NOT get divorced. Promise you won't do anything until I get over there. I'm calling Eddie, and we'll both be there with you tomorrow. Until then, don't take any action, please listen to me', and hangs up.
The father puts down the phone and turns to his wife and says. 'Good news' he says, 'Eddie and Julie are coming for Thanksgiving and they are both paying their own way.'
Eddie in Dallas calls his son in New York just before Thanksgiving and tells him, 'I am sorry to tell you but your mother and I are going to divorcing. I just cannot take any more of her moaning. We can't stand the sight of each other any more.' I am telling first, Eddie, because you are the eldest, please tell your sister.
When Eddie calls his sister Julie, she says: 'No way are they getting divorced, I will go over and see them for Thanksgiving.'
Julie phones here parents and tells them both 'You must NOT get divorced. Promise you won't do anything until I get over there. I'm calling Eddie, and we'll both be there with you tomorrow. Until then, don't take any action, please listen to me', and hangs up.
The father puts down the phone and turns to his wife and says. 'Good news' he says, 'Eddie and Julie are coming for Thanksgiving and they are both paying their own way.'
Indians and the Pilgrims
Nathan, a young boy, after hearing the story of Thanksgiving and how the Indians and the Pilgrims sat down together, climbed up into his father's lap and said, 'Daddy, did you know that if we were Indians, you would be a brave and Mom would be a squawk?'
'That is the best description of your mother I have ever heard, Nathan', replied his daddy as he ducked.
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