Joke of the Week

Two guys are talkin’ and one of them just keep going on about how bad his arm is bothering him. However it wasn’t bad enough to go to the doctor. The other guy said " I know just thing for you. The drug store has this new machine. All you have to do is pee in a cup, pour it into the machine, put in your dollar, push a button, and it tells you what’s wrong and how to fix it." The first guy figures his buddy is just feeding him full of shit and drops the topic. But a few days later he’s in the drug store and spots this machine. He figures it will only cost him a buck so why not try it. He pees in a cup, pours it in the machine, puts in a dollar, and pushes the button. A few minutes latter it spits out a slip of paper that reads. Dear Sir you have tennis elbow take ibuprofen three times a day for a week and limit the use of your arm. The guy doesn’t think there is any way a machine could tell that just from a cup of pee; but he tries it and it works. Still in disbelief the guy decides to fuck with the machine a little bit. So he takes a cup home with him and has his wife piss in it a little, then has his teen age daughter to piss in it a little, he gets some fresh oil off the drive and puts that in it, he gets some fresh dog shit and puts it in, then he jacks off in it. He goes back to the drug store, shakes up the cup pours it into the machine puts his dollar in and pushes the button. THE MACHINE STARTS HOPPIN’ AND JUMMPIN’ AROUND finaly, five minutes later, it spits out a slip of papper that reads. Dear Sr. your wife is pregnant with somone elses kid, your teenage daughter in on drugs, your car is two thousand miles past due for an oil change, your dog has worms, and if you don’t quit jacking off that tennis elbow is never going to get better.

All of a sudden I got the urge to play some tennis.