Masters of Horror
When i first heard of Masters of Horror i was skeptical but still hopeful it would be a cool series. So far i give it C+ or B- at best. There are a few really good ones, bunch of mediocre ones and a few crapfests. Well im going to review one of the really good ones and one stinkbomb. First up ill start with my favorite of the season so far and that one is Dario Argento's Jenifer , and yes its only spelled with one n. I guess to stand out from all those dozens of other movies named Jennifer. Or maybe its just cool to spell it like that and i just dont "get it". Anyways, this movie was fun, gory, and just straight rocking! The ending was predictable and i had it figured out within the first 5 minutes but the movie was executed so well it didnt really take away from it. Basically its about this cop who stops an attempted murder against a hideously deformed face girl named Jenifer. She's mentally challenged and doesnt know how to communicate in any form. She just grunts and walks looking down with her hair covering her face. The cop played effectively by Stephen Weber feels sorry for her and invites her to his home till he can find another shelter or place for her to go to. This is where all the mayhem ensues. As i said before shes just sick looking in the face with dark black demonic looking eyes but the catch is she also has a smoking hot body. Basically the cop's dilemma starts when he starts thinking with the wrong head. It faces the age old guy question of how ugly does a woman have to be before you would consider turning them away once your schlong is in their hands. Besides not being too bright Jenifer also has a taste for blood. There are some great gory scenes especially a real sick one involving a high school boy who gets more than he bargained for. So put it in your netflix queue or go rent it as soon as its out in the next few months.
Next up is the boring and mild Fair Haired Child by William Malone of House on Haunted Hill and FeardotCom fame. Heres the short version of the synopsis. Girl gets kidnapped, girls wakes up in mansion, girl gets locked in basement and meets a weird boy. Then supernatural junk happens, flashbacks, some magic stuff, some creatures who look kinda cool but nonthreatening looking. Acting was decent but this movie is not even worth getting into detail about. So far my least favorite of the season one shows. Some people ive talked to kinda liked it so be cautious if you rent it. When you are bored and pissed off for wasting an hour of your life just remember i warned ya.